whut pride?

When I was first out on my own as a teenager and young adult, I paid the bills and made a living by waiting tables and cooking. That was over 20 years ago now and now seems an impossibility for people that young trying to do anything on their own now due to the controlled demolition under the guise of covid and soon, the climate. It’s also interesting to think back on the wide network of friends I developed. We were all young with working class backgrounds, ambitious, and simply happy to be out on our own and making our own lives on our own terms, at least socially.

I don’t like quantifying anything demographically when it comes to personal relationships, but it is unfortunately relevant now because of how compartmentalized life has become with the rapid digitization of society. Every other friend I had was gay or bisexual, and it feels kind of funny to think about this on terms that are acceptable now in our supposedly enlightened progressive age– “as a young hetero, I was a solid ally to the gay community”. Does anyone my age or from my generation express themselves this way? The relationships I made through work, and not only via whatever my current place of employment was (if you’ve been in the service industry, you know this), were built on trust and mutual respect for “the hustle” and the ability to get shit done.

Some friends did drag, and the scene that comes across your television screen now seems totally sterile and soulless compared to the actual community effort that went into supporting your friends who did the damn thing seriously at established joints that not everyone — say, hetero white collar suburbanites flying pride flags? — was privy to. I use “community” in the sense that you could rely on the self-appointed block grandma to fix the hem on the scarf you had to wear on the catwalk; that the handsome GM from your roomie’s “casual fine dining” gig was going to make a cameo and bring brownies to the after party. It was just a mundane yet harmonious reality, but somehow in this age of wokeness, these actual community members who socially, materially, and spiritually supported their neighbors and even employees no matter their orientation aren’t quite edgy enough to make up “the gay community”. And, through the various slow-burn depopulation programs that led up to the makings of the covid world order, they and these bonds largely don’t exist any more.

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a reader’s digest explanation of blogging absence

I realized in March, a year since this began, that I had not posted anything since October of last year. And then I sat down to type and realized WordPress updated their editor to something incomprehensible, at least for my first few stabs at it. I still don’t like it, I’ll say that.

I haven’t been able to sit down and coherently write anything longer form for a couple of big reasons: 1. the information flow and need to understand the data is overfuckingwhelming and 2. my professional/worklife did a nose dive in November. It’s a long story, and I’m planning on recording something instead of writing it all out.

I was essentially forced to resign and I’m not totally sure what’s next. The intimidation on my way out took a lot more out of me than the dozens of policy changes us “essentials” were faced with in the last year. Our organization was definitely swept up in the “woke coup”. It was very calculated and I’m sorry for my colleagues and coworkers who still don’t know what hit them. That is not to say they are dumb because they do know they were bombarded with a lot of things to end up where the organization is now.

Of course I do not pretend that I have faced the worst of this onslaught, I can only claim that my experience, like many others’ in similar positions, is an object lesson. And I think most people I interact with continue to realize the scope of what we have been hit with, as informed as they are and were when this began. It’s a shocking transformation that must be attacked and criticized from all angles.

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I do not consent

It’s funny, er maybe somewhat comforting, I came across this post on my Facebook feed today because I had just been asking myself if there are uniquely evil people residing in my state because the slightest amount of criticism I have made on the health department or governor’s posts got people swarming me, calling me names, telling me I need to be put away, and even wishing for my death and for those around me. They made all these assumptions about me that were spelled out for them in advance by this propaganda.

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eat the rich before they eat you

I want to briefly discuss cannibalism, but as is my style we must first look at the universe that surrounds the current media push. Some of the information and examples you can find are immediately repulsive which I think has to do with our unique and exceptional instinctual drive as humans. And as thinking, social beings, if we sit with all the themes and ideas implied in the pro-cannibalism media, a more grotesque larger picture comes into view.

These are not topics that should be ignored or taken lightly. What we are facing is pressure to disassemble ourselves not only figuratively or psychologically, but to “relieve” ourselves of our corporeal form, piece by piece, because everything once beautifully organic around us is being mutated into something ugly and inhospitable to human existence.

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rising and falling

I’ve been waking up most mornings with an earnest hope that everyone has snapped out of this mask madness, this social distancing distraction, and that we can just forget this whole mess and move forward out of this advance toward total psychotic ruling class domination of every aspect of our lives. I wish it was simple as breaking a spell, but then again I’m not a practitioner and I really don’t know if breaking spells is a simple matter. I can understand the components of psychological operations though and have an amateur’s understanding of the dynamics of groupthink, mob mentality, and fascism. If there is an occultic spell or trick to be understood in our lifetimes, it was cast on September 11, 2001.

But it wasn’t just a matter of mind magic. The man who prepared so well before and then after 9/11 to tear our privacy to shreds, to lock up the poor in the name of national security, is presently being laughed at for his “senility”. Maybe he is, maybe he is not. But it doesn’t matter. Those pulling his strings are not laughing at his forgetfulness but all of ours who indulge in every stupid fucking meme about Biden forgetting he is not married to his sister, or something like that.

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the example of Todd Kendhammer

Screen Shot 2020-06-30 at 10.08.31 PMTodd Kendhammer is a strange little man who looks like a potato, and you could even say his gene expression tends more toward the spud side of life than those of us who still retain something known as humanity in this day and age. Eerily enough, several of his kin share this same potato-like affliction of sorts and maybe even some kind of magical belief in talking potatoes. I don’t know, but this is the strangest case I’ve paid attention to in a while. And I think it may be emblematic of both the current national psychosis, the compartmentalizing of trauma by many americans that we may see intensified in years to come with this smash-bang of an opening up to the 20s, and an example of how truth cannot be ignored despite how people buy into lies that make them feel safe even as those lies destroy everything sacred and good around them.

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the expanding aftermath

I’m tapped out yall. And maybe I shouldn’t be using such a contraction to address anyone as I cannot come up with a sufficient southern sickeningly sweet-as-pecan-pie white lie to get out of even the most mundane of annoying conversations or situations strangers suck me into. I’d like to bolt or tell you to fuck off, preferably, when I’m found to be confined by someone’s nonsense for which they need a captive audience, for whatever reason. In any case I don’t have the patience to entertain the fears expressed as nitpicking and thought policing by those who certainly know better in this global fascist takeover. “Please get real” is my motivating train of thought in pretty much any interaction with others these days.

Perhaps myself and other sharp minds I keep in contact with have a better “head space” in which we can process these bold advancements. I’ve been blogging piecemeal for years on the results we are seeing now in full gear. I have discussed nearly every strategy of tension more intensely playing out currently on this here blog and elsewhere and people are now trying to school me on these tactics. Old news and I make no apologies for my boredom and cutthroat retorts to their scolding.

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the “invisible enemy” exacted by the very visible

I #stayedthefuckhome today from carrying so much tension and being utterly exhausted and wanting to eat everything, but apparently the governor of our state will be issuing a “stay at home order” this afternoon barring all movement but for those who are deemed as “essential employees”. Everyone who has to work is essential to my mind, and theirs I’m sure too when bills are due, but what do I know — I’m merely one of them in title to be dumped on and do all the thinking for those whose entire career is based on just that and to do the you know lawyering and if not creating then shaping these increasingly idiotic measures we are being subjected to.

Has everyone lost their fucking mind? It really seems like that as every hour melts away. There is reportedly one death in my state now, out of 504 confirmed cases, with nearly 10,500 tests administered, and soon we will be directed to stay home (till –?). Absolutely insane, everyone has turned into a blithering idiot I swear. No one ordered to stay home while they try to clean up everyday abhorrent jail conditions, to look for children and young women who go missing every day, to wrest abused women from their abusers, to come together to provide shelter for the homeless, to pool resources to feed everyone going hungry tonight — unbelievable truly. What a waste of time and effort, and that’s just taking everything at face value.

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take my life, please!

You know that when the fascist state’s many nodes of power start telling you that they are concerned about your and the general public’s health something’s up. Synchrony Bank sent me an email about their precautions and three emails later, I found out they increased my credit limit. Hah!

Everything indeed is very surreal. There have been countless iterations of bad-ass-ed-ly facing the “zombie apocalypse” and creatively scavenging in a dystopian hellscape at some vague future date in the media. Each of these contains some amount of truth that requires, to my mind, some creative reading to understand this current heist. But then you hit the grocery after your shift, and you find that the only sort of milk sold out is organic and while the general aisle of canned goods is gutted, many of the same products are well-stocked in the “international” and Kosher aisle. There are some very interesting patterns to parse here in my humble opinion.

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