the would-be hunters, the should-be prey

So I have been intermittently trying to record a video or podcast on the topics I’m going to blog about in this post. One reason is that I become emotionally overwhelmed when speaking on the subject of apex predator subordination, trafficking, and slavery by humans. It can be embarrassing, and it’s hard for me to compose myself around strangers even. I don’t know, some things just need to come out I guess. I cried like a baby the first time I experienced a memorial for rescued tigers whose remains had to be cremated to prevent any possibility for harvesting of their bones or organs. I visit it occasionally and silently cry. The sunlight as it spills through the foliage of ancient knotty and gnarly giant trees makes for a space of knowing, of love and respect that doesn’t require additional witnesses to display its force and power.

As a child, I faced a series of traumatic events very early on, and the tenderness it caused led me to sympathize with bears very much and I wept for their unfair treatment by humans. I was entranced by PBS wildlife specials for hours. I think what got me through some lonely and confusing points in those early years was treasuring a lovely ceramic sculpture of a mama bear and her cubs escaping into the woods just past a “no hunting” sign; it had a music box that once wound up played “Born Free”. And as sentimental as that may sound, it is symbolic of the crux of the matter for me – the sorrow for majestic animals that deserve mutual respect from humans and who in captivity will never be able to exercise their true potential. Due to human malfeasance, greed, and unchecked desire, those born into captivity will be very unlikely to fend for themselves if sent to the natural habitats of their forebears. This in turn is also the story of us, and what we are at risk of losing.

When the stars threw down their spears
And water’d heaven with their tears:
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

“The Tyger”, William Blake
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when they come for you

Sometimes I wonder what it will take for some people to quit automatically smearing others as conspiracy theorists for not wanting and resisting the covid injections that are of course only the beginning of a slew of restrictions the ruling class wants to impose upon us all for life. We’re protecting ourselves long term and being conscious of what debilitating injury would mean for our loved ones and our assets that the injured are being taken for without any kind of compensation, let alone consideration. It is still mind boggling to me that people in positions of authority over me in previous jobs suffered and continue to suffer the effects of the shots while scapegoating, harassing, and excluding me. I had supervisors who were out days and weeks at a time without explanation; an athletic colleague with an honorable discharge from the army required leg surgery after her series; a cubicle mate under 30 required weekly heart monitoring appointments with a specialist. And this was in 2021 alone.

Looking back on the last two years and the spiral of insanity around vaxing the world or whatever, the fact that I was literally offered free donuts (a donut perhaps?) in a work email for getting this possibly life altering pharmaceutical in the midst of this propaganda blitz is surreal to the extreme. I’m at a loss for words most days, and I have to control myself from bursting into laughter about it if I speak aloud on these experiences. I say this because the consequences are real and deadly on a mass scale, and that is no joking matter. But such an offer is something one would have laughed off as ridiculous in years past. The level of fear and disciplining instilled worldwide, some cultures being more susceptible than others, has been so deleterious to clear thinking. Sure, it’s expected you would jump at the prospect of a “free donut” if you need to be “nudged” to do the right thing so “we all” can move on.

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ya heard?

It’s really weird that we get this story about a completely unlikeable female abuser who portrayed herself as a victim at the time when abortion, framed as the only choice anyone could make regarding their body autonomy, is being threatened. But we all know that it is larger than that, and the “populist right” with their shit eating grins know that too. And anyone with a brain knew how the right would position itself after the “blue” assault on bodily integrity became too big of an embarrassment to ignore any longer.

As someone who has always supported what is called “choice”, I’ve often said that the way to ensure that there are fewer abortions is to maintain their legality, safety, and accessibility. In such a world, poor, abused, and uneducated women would have more opportunities for self determination; they no longer have to fall into those categories at all and can exert more control over their reproductive capabilities. Even in my adolescence during the 90s, people did not want to discuss how the menstrual cycle works, as if it was taboo. Twenty years later, that has all but disappeared. We have apps for that now, and plan B is as easy as walking to the pharmacy when a condom breaks. There’s really not much shame left, and for all the faults of digitization, more information is available for all women to make smarter decisions and never have to “choose”, sans harmful and damaging hormonal pharmaceuticals as well.

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what is and what could be

Ramblings and observations on where we’ve been, where we’re at, and where we could end up. Please note: if you are reading and/or trying to view this shortly after seeing it posted, it may take hours for our blessed archive dot org to format it nicely so you don’t have to deal with buffering issues! I hope to follow this up with more discussion on what effects the Delta operation could have on factionalizing resistance in the US.

whut pride?

When I was first out on my own as a teenager and young adult, I paid the bills and made a living by waiting tables and cooking. That was over 20 years ago now and now seems an impossibility for people that young trying to do anything on their own now due to the controlled demolition under the guise of covid and soon, the climate. It’s also interesting to think back on the wide network of friends I developed. We were all young with working class backgrounds, ambitious, and simply happy to be out on our own and making our own lives on our own terms, at least socially.

I don’t like quantifying anything demographically when it comes to personal relationships, but it is unfortunately relevant now because of how compartmentalized life has become with the rapid digitization of society. Every other friend I had was gay or bisexual, and it feels kind of funny to think about this on terms that are acceptable now in our supposedly enlightened progressive age– “as a young hetero, I was a solid ally to the gay community”. Does anyone my age or from my generation express themselves this way? The relationships I made through work, and not only via whatever my current place of employment was (if you’ve been in the service industry, you know this), were built on trust and mutual respect for “the hustle” and the ability to get shit done.

Some friends did drag, and the scene that comes across your television screen now seems totally sterile and soulless compared to the actual community effort that went into supporting your friends who did the damn thing seriously at established joints that not everyone — say, hetero white collar suburbanites flying pride flags? — was privy to. I use “community” in the sense that you could rely on the self-appointed block grandma to fix the hem on the scarf you had to wear on the catwalk; that the handsome GM from your roomie’s “casual fine dining” gig was going to make a cameo and bring brownies to the after party. It was just a mundane yet harmonious reality, but somehow in this age of wokeness, these actual community members who socially, materially, and spiritually supported their neighbors and even employees no matter their orientation aren’t quite edgy enough to make up “the gay community”. And, through the various slow-burn depopulation programs that led up to the makings of the covid world order, they and these bonds largely don’t exist any more.

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a reader’s digest explanation of blogging absence

I realized in March, a year since this began, that I had not posted anything since October of last year. And then I sat down to type and realized WordPress updated their editor to something incomprehensible, at least for my first few stabs at it. I still don’t like it, I’ll say that.

I haven’t been able to sit down and coherently write anything longer form for a couple of big reasons: 1. the information flow and need to understand the data is overfuckingwhelming and 2. my professional/worklife did a nose dive in November. It’s a long story, and I’m planning on recording something instead of writing it all out.

I was essentially forced to resign and I’m not totally sure what’s next. The intimidation on my way out took a lot more out of me than the dozens of policy changes us “essentials” were faced with in the last year. Our organization was definitely swept up in the “woke coup”. It was very calculated and I’m sorry for my colleagues and coworkers who still don’t know what hit them. That is not to say they are dumb because they do know they were bombarded with a lot of things to end up where the organization is now.

Of course I do not pretend that I have faced the worst of this onslaught, I can only claim that my experience, like many others’ in similar positions, is an object lesson. And I think most people I interact with continue to realize the scope of what we have been hit with, as informed as they are and were when this began. It’s a shocking transformation that must be attacked and criticized from all angles.

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I do not consent

It’s funny, er maybe somewhat comforting, I came across this post on my Facebook feed today because I had just been asking myself if there are uniquely evil people residing in my state because the slightest amount of criticism I have made on the health department or governor’s posts got people swarming me, calling me names, telling me I need to be put away, and even wishing for my death and for those around me. They made all these assumptions about me that were spelled out for them in advance by this propaganda.

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